(Still from The Carol Burnett Show
That’s an über strung-out Norma Desmond
from the recently colorized Sunset Boulevard,
or is this Carol Burnett?
Gabi Rona | © MPTV | mptvimages.com)

Carol Burnett’s wiggling-walking “Miss Wiggins” was the secretary of Tim Conway’s Mister Tudball.

(Barbarella trailer)

(Jack Mitchell)

Still of Blythe Danner in Paul
Wilson Webb | © 2010 Universal Studios.
This is what a born actress (and Mom) looks like.

(Life magazine)

Ann-Margaret rides a bike, a Harley-Davidson, a hog.

(www.pinterest.com
The Rocky Horror Picture Show)

“You better wise up, Janet Weiss!”

(Still from Heaven
© R.V.P. Productions)

(Still of Diane Lane in Fierce People
Diane is having a nice life, but not exactly a charmed one.)

Ms. Lane was in her first theater production at the age of six.

(When Harry met Sally ... trailer)

(Tony Shek)

(While You were Sleeping trailer)

(iwritealot.com)

(Alexander Horn)

2019 TIFF, John Bauld

Ms. Kidman’s latest, is Babygirl.  From reviews I’ve heard — from women, mind you — it is absolutely titillating.

Nicole Kidman hails from an island archipelago, volcanic in origin.  Better known as, oh, never mind.  True fans aleady know.  Aloha, folks...  Give up?  Nicole Kidman is from Hawaii.

There are two problems with the Pantheon: One, these women are the most attractive in the world, so you might get a little jaded looking at them.  And two, they tend to be married — they don’t stay in the dating scene for long — so a few of you may equate this with adultery (really?)

That said, would you look at Nicole?  WOW!

Ms. Kidman played Satine, a French kickline girl, in Moulin Rouge.

(Still of Jennifer Connelly in Mulholland Falls
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer
© 1996 Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc.
All Rights Reserved.
My point is that the star here is a bombshell,
now is different, bocce balls be damned.)

Ms. Connelly won an Oscar for playing, Alicia, the wife of genius, John Nash, in A Beautiful Mind.

(Goodbye To All That
August 7th, 2015
© Lighthouse Home Entertainment)

If you wrote “sex” in lipstick on her forehead, it would be redundant.  Welcome to the Pantheon, Heather.  The address for C & Ds is somewhere on the home page.

Ms. Graham is unusually attractive.  If the discussion is limited only to looks, she is easily on a par with Ann Margaret, and Catherine Deneuve.  Yet, when she does the talk show circuit, she is the most charismatic, aesthete, with acute artistic sensibilities and sensitivities.

Does she always look like this?  Wow, she’s gorgeous, a Cali golden-gal.
Attribution: © Gwyneth Paltrow’s Instagram.

I’m not in her league.  No one is.  For all her wealth, fame, and intellect, she still seems to be very warm-hearted.  I fell for her with Shakespeare in Love, didn’t we all?

This would be my favorite quote from Glee, with Gwyneth Paltrow playing substitute teacher, Holly Holiday:

‘We will kick butt at the regionals, make it to the sectionals, then the States, then on to the Nationals, but I need you all to remember to do one thing...  I can’t do this, this is the final Glee episode, and you’ve all meant so much to me, well, I can’t stop crying...’  [Okay, a real-to-life dramatization.]

It’s not my favorite quote though, because it never happened.  Gwyneth is crying here because she is well-established in Hollywood, and her cast members might not ever be.  Of course, Ms. Paltrow, is a world-renowned actress, and her cast-mates are not.  Her part on Glee as leading lady was also significantly more challenging.

Twenty-one people involved with Glee have passed away.  It could have been very tense on the set of Glee as no-names jostle with marquis headliners for their shot at fame.

I have never met Gwyneth Paltrow, and most likely, never will, but I have followed her career so I could accurately report her on this Pantheon.  She seems like a really decent sort, who would go out of her way for her friends and relations, of which, of course, I am not one.

Ms. Paltrow has musical talent, as shown in Glee, and in the movie Country Strong.  Yet when she has really shined is as an actress, having won the Oscar for the Elizabethan dramedy, Shakespeare in Love.

Gwyneth ended her academic studies after one year as an art history major, at UCSB (University of California at Santa Barbara), to pursue a career as an actress in Hollywood.  Still, she doesn’t seem anti-intellectual in any sense, and appreciates those who are cerebral, just as she is.

Ms. Paltrow’s was doing a gym routine video for Instagram, and I thought, geez, that’s, what, Golds Gym?  But she was the only one there.  It was her frigging gym, she’s gotta be worth billions.

Her Pepper Potts role did make billions in gate, with every sequel.  IMDb lists Avengers: Infinity War — where she made another turn as Pepper Potts — as returning worldwide gross of $2,052,415,039, from a budget of $321,000,000 (estimated).

Gwyneth Paltrow will be renting out her guest cottage on Air BnB.  Ms. Paltrow will even supper with the guest.  Impossible to believe, but true.  Has Goop hit hard times?  Doubtful, her Pepper Potts from the Avengers movies gated ten figures.

This is much more than likely her entrée into the hospitality industry.

(Still from Pulp Fiction © Miramax)

(Still from American Hustle
Francois Duhamel | © 2013 Annapurna Productions LLC)

Amy Adams was nominated for six Oscars, but has yet to bring home the golden statuette.  We know she will one year, it is just a matter of time.

This photo is via Charlize Theron’s Instagram page.

Besides being “The Face,” Ms. Theron is also a beautiful soul.  Her Charlize Theron Outreach Project (CTAOP) works at ameliorating African poverty.

You wouldn’t expect this, but Ms. Theron is part of a White minority in her native South Africa, they’re majority Black.

(The Mask,
the How may I help you, Ma’am? bank scene)

(Katie Kiehn)

Reese’s Sunshine Saturday Films has a casting couch, but not that kind of casting couch.  Dig?

(Peter | © 2012 American Broadcasting Companies, Inc.)

(Hispanic Lifestyle)

Ms. Alba owns a very large natural goods company known as The Honest Company.

(Still from The Dark Knight
DC Comics, Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. © 2008

Ms. Gyllenhaal played Lee Holloway in the sizzling-hot Secretary.

(Still from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,
Kirsten as a mistress,
and Lacuna Corp. memory-erasing employee.)

(© Nine Lives, LLC.
Nine Lives still)

Amanda played Karen Smith in Tina Fey’s Mean Girls.

(Eva Rinaldi)
Does Snow White have to be a blond?

Temptation music video
All Rights Reserved, Taylor Swift

God understood that if all women looked like this, there would be trouble — plenty of it.  And was she ever right.  If Taylor could just bottle just some of her joie de vivre, what a world this would be.

Taylor Swift is very personable, and just as likable.  I watched her tonight on the Grammys, as she presented Best Country Album to Beyoncé (for Country Carter).  I didn’t know Beyoncé was a country artist, but I did know that Taylor originally was one.

I’m not quite sure how talented Ms. Swift is musically (she’s mostly a singer in concert), but she won over my heart a long time ago, as she does almost everyone’s.  Taylor is very sensitive to others, as evidenced in her lyrics, and that is her gift.

Did you cry openly, or at least shed a tear, when Taylor and Karlie Kloss went their separate ways?  Yup, you did, everyone did.  “The Squad” was history right then and there.  Did you play Dorothea on endless repeat hoping for some clarification on their parting of ways?  How could we not?

I bet Taylor Swift has broken lots of hearts, hearts of people who aren’t accustomed to getting their hearts broken.  Her paramours are celebrities from rarefied air, who do not understand why they’re not good enough for her.  Taylor has firm roots in the country life, of wholesome living, and of being good-natured to all.

Her dates may not have had the best intentions for Ms. Swift.  They sought her sex appeal, or her money, and not the charming, and unusually intelligent, woman behind the glitz.

Taylor Swift must have to deal with very strained relationships, ones where others may be riding the coattails of her fame and fortune.  Ms. Swift is expected to continue to be a force majeur in music, for decades, and many would love to advance their career with her help.

By every outside indication, Taylor has it all: intellect, looks, and personality.  Internally, she hasn’t struggled with any addictions, although she may have had an issue with under-eating a few years ago.  Taylor does seem to be one of a sensitive kind, who may find herself defining and asserting boundaries more than she’d like.

My impression of Taylor Swift’s music career is that she’d much rather be a studio musician, and work on her music videos, than be a performer live on the stage.  This is just like Steely Dan, who toured initially, but after 1974, never toured again (if you don’t count their much later stints as a nostalgia act, albeit one who had plenty of chops).

One criticism I have of her Eras Tour is that emphasizes her showgirl sexuality over her musicianship.  She is not seen at the piano during any footage I’ve seen of her tour.

Ms. Swift’s major demographic has typically been women, her age and younger.  Yet her show seems to be very charged sexually.  Taylor might be trying to change her gender demographic to include more men.  Still, her music says much about how women deal with rejection, and guys they can no longer stand, not the main interest of a male audience.

The Grateful Dead were a touring band.  They made albums to promote their tours.  Taylor Swift, with streaming services eating into her profit margins, is relying on tours to make money, albums promote the tours, tours don’t promote the albums.

Ms. Swift’s business model is not much different from the one that the Grateful Dead had, touring is where the money is made, not in the studio, recording music.

Taylor Swift invited me over again, so I could continue interviewing her.  Taylor and I are almost like old friends.  Ms. Swift greeted me at the door of her stately manse with a carton of milk, and a plate of chocolate-chip cookies.

“Do you like cookies, Other?”

“No, I had to quit a long time ago.”

“I think it makes me dynamic.”

“You’re kidding me.  How long have you been scarfing down chocolate-chip cookies?”

“For about a week.”

“Quit, save your career.  You’ll pop a seam in the middle of songs.”

“Geez, okay.  Hmm, I’ll quit.  They’re really addictive.  Let’s hear what you got.”

“Questions?  Okay, questions.  Your latest pop confection—”

“Please, do not use that term.  It’s not only overused, it’s offensive.”

“What should I say instead?”

“Say, “my latest masterpiece.””

“Alrighty, then, your latest masterpiece, Midnight, has you playing trumpet for the first time.  Where did you study trumpet?”

“Online Juilliard, they have a summer program for brass instruments, so I decided to sign up.”

“You seem unshakable, nothing rattles you.  I mean you’re on stage before tens of thousands of fans, hmm, do you ever get any hecklers?”

“No.”

“Next question.  Do you have trouble sleeping after a big show, like, say, debuting a tour?”

“No.  You’re winging this, aren’t you?”

“When you write a painful breakup song—”

“We’re back to pop confection, aren’t we?”

“You generally have a very clean image, I was surprised to see you with a drink and Salems.”

“I’m thirty-four years old.  What did you expect, a banana?”

“Would you like to see a movie tonight?”

“With you?  I’m practically engaged, Other.”

“I’ll just run along, I have a plane to catch.”

“BC?”

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

“I’m well prepared, unlike—”

“Have you ever flown Air Canada to the West Coast?  What do they serve?”

“Coach?  Chips?”

“Bye.”

“Bye.  Have a good flight.”

“Wow, yeah!  A good flight!”

I had the opportunity to interview Ms. Swift at a COBS cashathon marathon (we need funding like any other radio network).  Canadian Other Broadcasting System flew me down to Nashville to talk with the legendary songstress.

“What’s shaking, Taylor?”

“Huh?”

“How are you doing?”

“I’m good.  Please no questions about my squad.  The squad thing isn’t going on anymore, post Victoria Secret shows.  Otto—”

“It’s Other, ma’am, Other.”

“Other, were you at the post-show bash?  We hired strippers—”

“I couldn’t make it, we got snowed in that day.”

“—Strippers.  Um, was it, hmm, yeah, male strippers, was it male strippers?  Sure, male strippers.”

“Ah hem.  Male ones?”

“Hmm, no.  Oh, let me see your questions...  I can only answer this one.”

“Not a problem.  Who’s your favorite artist?”

“That’s a good question.”

“Do you have an answer to the question?”

“I just got to take this call...  No, Selena, I hadn’t heard that yet...  My ex was involved?  Which one?...  I gotta write a song, Otto.  Good to meet you.”

“Taylor, I have a few more questions, if you just give me a few minutes—”

“You’re cute, Otto, but you’re not my type.  Ta-ta.  Oh a favorite, how about Joni?”

As I wrote down her answer, Ms. Swift picked up a clutch that looked like it cost as much as my car, and sauntered out the door.  I never saw her again.  I wiped my brow, then flew back to Saskatchewan.

And then I woke up.

Taylor apparently had an eating disorder, which is now completely in check...

Taylor Swift originally went on tours to promote her albums.  With the advent of streaming however, she sells albums to promote her tours.  Spotify and Youtube have chipped away at their income streams.  The Grateful Dead only had one top forty hit, Touch of Gray, but had a much larger following, and made their name, by going on tour.

In other words, Taylor Swift and the Grateful Dead have the same business model, they both sell albums to promote their tours.

(Pillow Talk, 1959)

(Still from The Mary Tyler Moore Show
sitcomsonline.com)

(A still fromThe Mary Tyler Moore Show)

(Still from The Mary Tyler Moore Show
SitcomsOnline.com
Lou Grant, her boss, was very upsetting to poor Mary Richards.)

(“You know how to whistle.  Don’t you, Steve?”
Just put your lips together ... and blow.)

(Edvard Munch)

Bette Davis said, essentially, that Greta was a better actress than she was: “Her instinct, her mastery over the machine [camera], was pure witchcraft.”

(CelebritiesHeight.com)

Maggie the Cat in Tennessee Williams’ Cat on a Hot Tin Roof was perhaps her most famous role.

(Shanghai Express still
By Don English (1901-1964); Paramount Pictures - Heritage Auctions [1](Image from source cropped and contrast-adjusted for upload to Wikimedia.), Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=17190820)